That ugly word that holds so much beauty……

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I keep discovering through life’s seasons, and from a variety of sources seemingly independent of each other (although they really are not), an inescapable truth. It is a key word that unlocks the Christ life in each of us, and is a word we don’t like very much, and tend to avoid at all costs: Surrender. Along with its variously flavored synonyms and siblings: give up, yield, bow, be wrong, humble yourself, accept, let go, stop talking and knowing so much and instead ask questions and listen, release, stop blaming, truly forgive—not just in word, but from the innermost heart where we live. Do you smell the sweet aroma of Christ in each of these un-natural attitudes and actions? That alluring fragrance is the very Bread of Life.

These are the distinctive things the Spirit is teaching me: To surrender means nothing less than to die to the fierce protection of my cherished opinions (and the airing of them); to surrender is to let go of the childish compulsion to have my own way, to stubbornly ‘speak my mind’ not caring who it hurts (or bores); to surrender is to realize first just how very controlling is my self-will (especially that of my  ‘good’ religious self), and then, by the power of the Holy Spirit, deal death-blows to the insidious self-righteousness that invades my thoughts, speech and behavior.  This is fundamental, ‘front-line’ spiritual warfare. The power of pharisaism—I am right, and you are wrong—is the same primary enemy that Jesus faced all his days (not His own self-righteousness, but that of the religious powers who were threatened by Him). In spite of today’s ‘easy christianity’ where each person tends to write his own little script, it is to this big, hard work and very personal war that we are called.

At its deepest roots, to surrender, spiritually, is to abandon the inherent lie that I belong to me, thus my life is mine, to do and say and even think, as I please. To WIN, and NOT lose. Most unfortunately, pagans can labor under that natural myth all of their days, and die believing it. But the sincere Christ-One needs to see self-denial on all levels, as an ongoing, life-giving essential in his surrender to the Lordship of Christ. What else does ‘the crucified life’ consist of?  As John said so clearly: “I must become less, so that He might become more”.

We can not accomplish this super-natural feat on our own. Surrender almost always happens in the context of relationship. I speak from experience when I say that ‘christian’ lone-wolfs—what an oxymoron!—know very little of real surrender, and thus limited personal spiritual victory, growth in love and mercy, reflecting the very image of the risen Christ. Sadly, such ‘independent’ types tend to stay stubborn, stunted, and small.  Protecting and cherishing self-will and autonomy are far too important. I know.

If we are mature enough to honestly examine our “outward” actions, inner thoughts, heart motives and prevailing attitudes in the light of scripture we can see a disturbing truth: every thought, word and deed, no matter how ‘good’, if some essence of personal surrender and death to ego is not in it, it is not of Christ, regardless of how ‘good’ it might seem to be.  He permeates what He does with the gentle convicting power of His ineffable presence, His unqualified love and mercy, His humility, His joy, His peace.  ‘By their fruits you shall know them’. Ironically, self can do a lot of stuff on its own, and feel proud about it. But His words remain: “Apart from Me, you can do nothing. Abide in Me, and I will abide in you”. This is the organic and potent mystery of true surrender, the vine and branches our LORD spoke of in John chapter 15.

If my thoughts, language and actions are not empowered by the living Spirit of Christ, then what does feed them? Again, if we are honest, we can see that there are only two ultimate Sources: Christ, and Self . The fuel of self is Pride, the mother of all other sins, flowing from ‘the dark side’. Life is about ME, getting MY way. There is no ‘middle ground’, no neutrality, as we like to think. Consider Christ’s incisive words:  “He who is not with me, is against me”. Many (most, all?) of us still have much of Self, covered with a little “Christian” emotion and cliché.

This cutting truth is especially revealed in “religious” contexts. Paradoxically, although evil does love the “deeds of darkness’, the so-called ‘technicolor’ sins, evil often thrives best in the realm of things we call “good”. As Oswald Chambers points out in today’s meditation from My Utmost for His Highest, “our ordinary and reasonable service to God may actually compete against our total surrender to Him. “Good is the enemy of the Best!” We often love our ‘reformed’ theology, our deep-seated self-exalting political views, our predictable denominational rituals and routines with all their familiarity and self-flattery, more than we love the living Christ Himself. True to His beautiful, mysterious and revolutionary nature, He is usually leading us away from the security of religion, the beaten path, the comfort of the herd, not toward it. But the path of true surrender is not lonely and dark, because He is there, and His lamp is always burning.

Surrender

Keep surrendering

Allow His Spirit to replace you, not improve you

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–Quilla

March 4, 2014 | Categories: Meditations | Tags: Christ, evil, faith, good, religion, right, Steve Brown, works, wrong | 1 Comment